- The Episode Guide

Pilot

Original Air Date: Tuesday 12th December 1995 (21:30 - 22:00) ˇ BBC 1

Not much is known about the Satellite City Pilot episode apart from when it was shown and on what channel. We're still trying to find out more information for you.

Original Air Date: Friday 4th October 1996 (22:25pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 00"
Recorded On: Friday 27th September 1996

English Stan, the Price's lodger has just died and on the day of his funeral, Idris the eldest of the family, Gwynne Price's dad, puts a sign up in the front window of the house advertising for a new lodger. Gwynne and Moira, Idris' son and daughter in law, however, have decided that they don't want to take on another lodger and want to start living as a family again.

A knock on the door reveals Randy, Randolph Lincoln III! An American student studying 'Celtic Mysticism of Welsh Culture', is hoping to stay in Wales for a while to help his studies. Although living with the Price's seems the logical answer, Gwynne seems to be dead against the idea.

The family go to the after funeral proceedings at their local, the Cosmo. Mandy becomes quickly acquainted with Dai the Barman, Bridget and Mandy, who falls for his American accent and charm almost immediately.

Randy is immediately called to action as he tries to calm a situation involving Gwynne and the local bully/ruffian Richard Stuckley, who is after Gwynne because he apparently tipped his drink over at the "other" local pub - The Boar's Head. Richard is reluctant to listen to Randy's calming methods and Randy has to quickly resort to more violent precautions. Stuckley ends up through a table thanks to Randy's martial arts skills.

Much to the amazement of the locals including the surprised Price family, Gwynne has no choice other than to take Randy in as a lodger and welcomes him to Satellite City as thanks for saving his bacon against Stuckley.

"Randy? You're a man of the world aren't you?...What exactly is scampi butt?" - Idris

Original Air Date: Friday 11th October 1996 (22:20pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 53"
Recorded On: Tuesday 1st October 1996

Gwynne decides to "borrow" an "executive toy" (a talking plasma ball) from his boss Wilf Morris without asking.

Spike Malarky, a renowned criminal in and out of prison and has a dodgy reputation, returns to the village and causes a ruckus in the Cosmo, sparks fly when he and Randy first meet!

Meanwhile Idris is eating a jar of pickled eggs and falls into a dream world whilst at the club. Back home he hears a noise which disturbs his sleep and he goes downstairs to investigate. Spike is inside the house sneaking around the Price's private property. He convinces Idris that its ok its just a dream and he's imagining it all, whilst also convincing him to put the kettle on!

Next morning Moira discovers the "talking machine" (the plasma ball) has gone missing and immediately suspects Spike as Idris tells the story of his dream. Gwynne starts to feel a little shaky and is worried about how he's going to tell his boss and how he's going to face a life of prison.

The family return to the Cosmo to confront Spike who inevitably denies taking the machine. Randy suggests holding a trial and having Spike's peers as his jury. Idris, the judge and a witness in the trial, is convinced it was still a dream, however Spike cannot deny that he's a liar and a criminal. The jury finds Spike not guilty but insane. Gwynne immediately fears his future is in pieces and thinks spike is taking it all as a joke.

After Gwynne leaves, Spike starts singing and Idris remembers the song from the dream and realises it wasn't a dream after all. He rushes off to find Gwynne as everyone else is entranced by Spike's beautiful singing voice. Idris discovers his son lying dead in a bathtub and Spike is laughing in the background. What a nightmare?...or just the nine pints that had him carried home earlier that night?

"They aught to put you down aye! They aught to put the whole bloody lot of you down!"
- Gwynne's loses his cool with Idris when he fails to notice that his dream was actually real!

Original Air Date: Friday 18th October 1996 (22:20pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 00"
Recorded On: Wednesday 2nd October 1996

Moira wakes up in a foul mood. contemplating how her life has not turned out the way she expected. Gwynne dismisses her bad mood as "T.N.T." much to Moira's disapproval!

Randy wakes up moaning that he can't sleep properly and wants a new bed, Idris is having none of it and says new beds are "Satan's Sandwiches".

Meanwhile Moira is downstairs frustrated with the breakfast cooking and she hears a knock at the door. It's the postman, an old friend of her and Gwynne's from school named Patrick Parker. Immediately Moira brightens up and they sit down at the table and start reminiscing of old times.

Gwynne feels intimidated by Pat and starts poking fun. As payback Moira decides Pat and herself will take a trip to Southerndown, just like old times. However, everyone in South Wales, including Gwynne knows that Southerndown is a renowned coastal car park where people go to have a quickie!

Back at the Cosmo Mandy asks Randy if he wants to be her boyfriend! Gwynne gets depressed by the thought that his wife is being whisked away by a man better looking than himself. He pictures the two running hand in hand across the beach with the waves lashing against their ankles. His emotions overcome him and his thoughts turn toward suicide. Idris decides that its not worth living if Randy forces him to have a new bed and he also decides to join his son in an attempt to commit suicide together. All in good humour of course!

In one fail swoop, Idris makes the bed situation worse, and Moira and Pat return to tell Gwynne some "important" news.

"The sexual act is ludicrous anyhow...if my memory serves me right" - Dai the Barman

Original Air Date: Friday 25th October 1996 (22:20pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 56"
Recorded On: Wednesday 2nd October 1996

"You're not suggesting we dig her up are you Randy boy? Digging up corpses is frowned upon in Wales...Well in South Wales anyway" - Gwynne

Idris is ill, the doctor puts it down to old age, Randy however, is convinced its more psychological than physical and convinces Idris to try some "oriental" forms of healing.

As he falls into a deep sleep in a bath made up by Randy to cure his illness, Idris dreams of a black hooded woman. Randy being the logical thinker he is, interperates this as Angharad, Idris' late wife who was run over in a bus accident just outside the co-op. Angharad was a "formidable" woman who could carry a goat in one hand from Ton Pentre to Maerdy! However, she was run over by her husband no less, in his bus, whilst she was heavily under the influence of Tia Maria.

After Randy goes to find Mandy and Bridget for more "female energy" the Price's along with Randy, Dai and the girls form a circle around the kitchen table and Randy calls upon the diseased Angharad to ask her forgiveness and in turn heal Idris of his illness.

Idris falls into another dream and sees English Stan, the Price's previous lodger who hung himself. He's wearing women's clothes much to Idris' concern! He finds out this was the reason for his suicide, tragic as it was, Stan couldn't be himself and thought it was for the best he died. They settle down for a chat and a beer in a white and pure place which looks like heaven. Just before Idris gets taken back to his physical self, English Stan tells him to put shoe polish and tea on his boils to clear them up.

When Idris awakes the whole table are on their feet freaked out about what just happened. Immediately Moira puts a stop to any future séances

Doctor: Why didn't you marry again Price? Open your shirt.
Idris: No woman could ever replace my Angharad.
Doctor: She was a formidable woman Price, I agree.
Idris: Do you know she could carry a goat in one hand from Ton Pentre to Maerdy.
Randy: Why would she want to do that Idris?
Idris: Well she had the shopping in the other hand.

Original Air Date: Friday 1st November 1996 (22:20pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 37"
Recorded On: Wednesday 2nd October 1996

The family, Randy and the girls are sitting watching "I skinned my Cousin 5". After Randy gives his psycho-analysis of the horror film and the violent characteristics of "Tom & Jerry" he tells the family that he is going to find a job. Little known that the news would be taken so badly he releases what Gwynne calls a "maelstrom of turbulent emotion".

Next morning Randy goes off to find a job to help financially support himself wearing Idris' lucky suit. Idris gets depressed and goes out to find Randy a more local job as opposed to Randy's ideas of going more further afield to Cardiff. By doing this he fails to turn up for his daily 1 o'clock pint at the Cosmo. The family soon get anxious about his whereabouts.

Meanwhile Idris gets pounced upon by a group of under 5 year old's and Mandy rushes to help him out. Bridget runs to inform the others at the Cosmo, which in turn makes them worry and believe that Idris has been abducted by dwarfs!

Back at the house Bridget is having fits on the 3-piece suite, Gwynne tries to gag her to shut her up as Idris and Mandy walk in to tell them they're ok and Randy may have landed himself a local money making job!

[on hearing that Randy may be leaving to get a job elsewhere...]
Idris: I'll crush my own windpipe with a hammer if he goes
Mandy: I'll take all my clothes off and scream
Idris: I'll live in a suitcase under the bed without holes
Moira Price: ...and I will join Plaid Cymru

Original Air Date: Friday 8th November 1996 (22:20pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 00"
Recorded On: Thursday 3rd October 1996

Idris and Gwynne plan an afternoon in to watch the match, inviting Randy and Dai to come join them. Randy and Mandy however are planning to spend some time together. Mandy seeks Moira's advice on Love and men, Gwynne is there for Randy to offer some priceless advice, both are equally as shocked at the news that the new couple haven't yet got intimate!

Whilst the boys sit down to watch the Wales Vs. England 5 nations match (now the 6 nations), Mandy is getting frustrated at Randy's lack of urge to get close to her, with all the hinting and whinging Mandy stands up and commands Randy to go the bedroom to "talk". The couple find out this is their first time!

As the match comes to a nail biting crescendo the boys rush upstairs to listen to the commentary on the radio as the TV transmission brokedown. Thing is Randy and Mandy are coming to a crescendo of their own!

[the boys are watching Wales losing at Rugby]
Gwynne: We was better when we all had initials... JJ, JPR...
Dai the barman: MD.
Gwynne: MD? Who's MD?
Dai the barman: Mervyn Davies.
Gwynne: Mervyn Davies wasn't known as MD.
Dai the barman: No but they's his initials though.
Gwynne: Yes Dai, but he was known as 'Merv the Swerve'
Idris: In that case he should be called M the S. M for Merv, S for Swerve and 'The' for 'The'.

^ Go Back To The Top

Original Air Date: Friday 10th October 1997 (22:22pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 00"
Recorded On: Wednesday 10th September 1997

It's only a matter of time until Gwynne loses his job and the Price's are struggling to make ends meat. Idris gets on the wrong side of Moira, making matters worse by throwing away food and money that they haven't got.

While the Price's go out to do a vegetable shop, Idris stays in and ends up doing some dealing of his own. He buys a vacuum cleaner as a surprise for Moira. He pays only £7 for it, except that's only the deposit...there's another£1412.00 left outstanding! It sounds like a deal that only Ron Jasper could pull off, after all he is the most evil man in the Rhondda.

The Price's go to drown their sorrows down at the Cosmo. Randy suggests that they appeal to Ron's "better nature". So the lads invite Ron to the house while Mandy takes Moira to Bridget's for a girls night in. Randy tries to talk Ron into tearing the contract up only to be beaten to it by the man himself. However, Ron refuses to clear the Price's debt as a result of Gwynne's alleged bullying when they were work colleagues and says that all Randy was proposing was an all too familiar story. However, the girls may have stumbled across some evidence that may cause Ron to find within his heart, his good-natured side.

"I wish I'd never answered the door. I'll never answer the sodding thing again even if I know who's there. I wish I'd never got born, I'll never get born again, I'll refuse, I'll cling to the inside of the tin"
- Idris in his depression after being conned by Ron Jasper.

Original Air Date: Friday 17th October 1997 (22:24pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 23"
Recorded On: Wednesday 10th September 1997

[Dai reminiscing of his romance with Rosalie]
Idris: You loved her once didn't you Dai?
Dai: Oh more than once Idris, must have been a dozen times in all.

Randy and Mandy have hit a rough patch with Randy not feeling like he wants to get intimate with her. They fall out, disturbing Moira's sleep in the process. Mandy runs off to see Bridget to tell her that her and Randy's relationship has hit an abrupt end. Randy chases her but is stopped by a happy Bridget who now has her friend all to herself.

Randy ends up in the Cosmo with a heartbroken Dai who has just received some bad news off his ex-wife Rosalie. Bridget walks in on the two down-in-the-mouth men having a "manly" hug that Randy instigated in order to persuade Dai that it's kosher for men to get close.

The next day Mandy is convinced Randy is gay and goes to Mrs. Price for consolation after Bridget breaks the somewhat fabricated news that she saw Randy and Dai sharing and intimate kiss last night. Moira quickly tries to calm the situation and tells her that she cannot believe everything Bridget says, and puts it down to the fact that Randy is American and is very different.

Mandy goes to find Randy in the club and discover he and Dai are in the barman's bedroom, she confronts Randy and tells him that he should be open and honest about his sexuality. Needless to say, the couple go home to enjoy the calm after the storm and we all know that making up is always the best part!

[Idris to Gwynne on the "situation" with Randy and Dai]
Idris: We're not stupid are we son?
Gwynne: Difficult question to answer dad, putting the plural like that!

Original Air Date: Friday 24th October 1997 (22:22pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 00"
Recorded On: Wednesday 10th September 1997

Gwynne, Idris and Randy are practicing for a pub quiz to be held at the Cosmo, Gwynne is fired up and ready to go and confident that he can win 1st prize, a scale model of Caerphilly Castle! Mandy comes in with a strange question for the boys. "Start the clock", "tick...tick...tick", "Is it alright to stand in the nude for men to paint your body?". After some deliberation, Randy believes it's totally within the rights of a human being to stand in the nude in order to be painted in the name of "art". Mandy drops the bombshell that posing in the nude is exactly what she will be doing tomorrow night, for an art class.

She says her reasoning is because she wants to be a model and she wants to find her identity in life. Randy however, is none too pleased with the thought of perverted men ogling her every morsel of her being. This in turn causes uproar with Bridget who wants Mandy all to herself so the American and the Goth start fighting, until Mandy decides that posing is her final decision.

While Mandy is out getting some helpful tips from Moira on how to pose, Randy is getting wound up by the boys in the Cosmo and turns to drink. As the night draws in, the class takes precedence over the quiz and everyone including Dai leaves the bar to go upstairs to watch the show. leaving Randy and Gwynne to their depressed and lonely selves. Gwynne's aspirations of winning first prize after all his revision and Randy losing his girlfriend to drooling male onlookers.

Turns out Mandy wasn't suited for the part and they managed to find a more appropriate individual. Gwynne immediately thinks it's Moira and they get to see that after all the aggravation he gave Randy, he may have changed his attitude now his wife is involved...or is she?

[Idris on hearing the news of Mandy's artistic poses]
Idris: Nude? Naked that means mun.
Gwynne: The human thesaurus strikes again.
Idris: If God wanted women to be naked he wouldn't have invented catalogues.

Original Air Date: Friday 31st October 1997 (22:24pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 55"
Recorded On: Wednesday 10th September 1997

Gwynne is looking at old photos early in the morning. He's not been sleeping well for a couple of weeks, he and Moira come to the conclusion that his "acute psychotic state" could be down to the fact that it's his 40th birthday next week.

Moira tries talking to Randy about Gwynne's problem to glean some advice. She believes it's down to his lack of sexual prowess that's keeping him down in the mouth and the fact that his 40th birthday is lurking just around the corner isn't helping the matter. Again though, Randy dismisses it and comes to his own conclusions that it's something far deeper. A psychic block caused by an event from Gwynne's childhood suppressed in his memory.

Gwynne has cracked, he's hallucinating and he fails to complain even though the man at the chip shop gave him the smallest battered sausage. The rest of them have to calm him down after he flies into a fit. Randy decides hypnosis is the best way to get to the bottom of Gwynne's strange behavior It ends up Gwynne goes back to being the age of 4 as he goes under, Moira gets taken under by Randy's "Kinnock" hypnosis and Idris helplessly goes under too!

Throughout the insanity of the family in their hypnotised state, Randy uncovers a dark family secret and the reason for Gwynne's out of character depression. It all boils down to a grim prediction made by Idris when he was just a young boy, but it's affected him a little more than he anticipated!

[Gwynne gets fed up with Randy's help]
Randy: See I did this course on regression therapy.
Gwynne: That's it I'm going.
Randy: No, No, No, No, Regression therapy is great.
Gwynne: Look, leave me alone or I will smash my head repeatedly into that wall, right?
Dai: Now I tried that once, and it helped.

Original Air Date: Friday 7th November 1997 (22:24pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 53"
Recorded On: Wednesday 10th September 1997

Idris is talking to a friend at the Cosmo named Alf, who is showing off photo's of his grandson. Idris starts to crave the attention and loving that a grandson would bring. Moira quickly puts him straight, refusing to make her body a "temporary squat for disaffected youth!".

Idris fails to turn up for his regular "Saturday Dinner" and decides to go on a hunger strike in an attempt to end his life as a result of Gwynne and Moira's reluctance to give him a grandchild.

Randy and Moira get worried about Idris as he refuses to eat a single morsel. Gwynne even goes as far as to suggest that they try having a baby to give him what he wants, however, that idea was short lived when both he and Moira realise how silly an idea that actually sounds!

Bridget calls unexpectedly with a dilemma regarding her cousin Sonia's problematic baby, Dwayne, who apparently needed to be tied to the cot because he was so bad! The Price's get an idea to kill two birds with one stone. They solve Bridget's babysitting problem whilst tempting Idris out of fasting by letting him baby sit Dwayne in the hope it will be a bad experience and put him off the idea of grandchildren.

The family and friends go to the Cosmo to celebrate their imminent victory as they wait for Idris' arrival. He only went and put the baby in the box with the ferret!

Randy: Life is a gift.
Gwynne: Life is a joke butt, and death is the punch line!.

Original Air Date: Friday 14th November 1997 (21:34pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 48"
Recorded On:

Gwynne is dressed to impress! They have a visitor, Yvonne Lewis, an old friend of Moira and Gwynne's who has just been through a divorce.

Gwynne tries to make a good impression. Forgetting about his duties to his wife, he pursues an old flame he once had for Yvonne and makes a fool of himself in the process. Yvonne seems less than impressed!

Yvonne and Moira go out to Cardiff for the day, leaving Gwynne to completely resent the new visitor and her friendship with his wife. As another day dawns, Gwynne and Idris are left to tend to themselves, as the friends choose to have a day trip to the beach. Gwynne is furious with both his wife and especially Yvonne for taking her away, he and Idris hatch a plan to get rid of her...much to Randy's disapproval of course!

The American fails to keep his mouth shut and the boys' plan gets foiled as he rushes over to the Cosmo to inform Moira and Yvonne of their plot.

They return home and help the plot along by playing it out step-by-step as Gwynne and Idris planned, little known to them that the women already know. Yvonne seduces Gwynne upstairs in the bedroom until Randy and Moira march in to give Gwynne and Idris the marching orders for hatching such a ludicrous ploy.

The evening ends in spectacular fashion as the three newly acquainted comrades (Randy, Moira and Yvonne) enjoy a slap-up meal with a waiter, whilst Idris and Gwynne are left locked outside in the rain. Who else can they turn to for a roof for the night but good ol' Dai!

[Randy tries to be the voice of reason in amongst the plotting!]
Randy: Listen Idris, don't let yourself be drawn into this Machiavellian charade.
Idris: Aye macaroni cheryade!.

^ Go Back To The Top

Original Air Date: Friday 25th September 1998 (22:24pm) ˇ Duration: 27' 08"
Recorded On: Monday 21st September 1998

The family and their lodger are going for a night out, however, they get dispirited when they realise that they are going for a night out in the club again. Randy suggests that they go to the Boar's head for a change but they soon come to the conclusion that the Cosmo isn't that bad after all.

When they arrive at the Cosmo, they find that Dai has got a letter demanding an inspection by the brewery as they see that the club is not deemed fit for public use. They all sit around their usual table and think of ways they can clean up the pub or stop the inspection. As they get to work, Gwynne and Idris disappear to the cellar to "test" the beer. Mandy goes to buy some flowers from Mrs. Harris "Green Fingers" in the florist, she gets to meet her niece Donna who lost her job due to an inspector named Don Blackmore, the same inspector who is coming to view the Cosmo and the man who stole Rosalie from Dai.

It's the 5th anniversary of the day Dai first met Rosalie and he gets into a mental state and starts pulling the now cleaned up Cosmo apart again. Mandy rushes back to inform the of the inspectors identity and they strive to keep him from being killed by a rampant Dai.

Don Blackmore comes back for a second visit after being thrown out mistakenly the first time for looking shabby and making the place look untidy with his so called disguise. However, when Dai sees him this time he locks himself and Don in the toilet to tie him up and torture him. Turns out Rosalie left Don for another man too. After he and Dai make up they are "joined together by mutual betrayal". Don gives the Cosmo a 50 year extension as a consolation for what he did. Dai is so overcome with emotion he has to leave and the family suggests Donna takes a job helping Dai run the club. All this while Gwynne and Idris get plastered downstairs in the cellar!

"I found a chicken nugget running about on its own the other night, I think Dai's keeping it as a pet" - Gwynne

Original Air Date: Friday 2nd October 1998 (22:24pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 03"
Recorded On: Tuesday 22nd September 1998

Dai has closed the club, Donna and Mandy have gone to "the coast of lost innocence" a.k.a. Porthcawl, so its a quiet night in front of the tele for the Price family and Randy.

Idris has got a "feeling" that he's going to win the lottery and sends Randy to get a ticket for him. Gwynne discovers that his father has eaten the bar of chocolate he saved for the evening and he too has to go out in the appalling weather to get another bar.

An hour later they sit down to watch tv while Moira cooks the evening meal. Idris asks for a piece of Gwynne's chocolate knowing full well Gwynne asked him if he'd like him to buy a bar of chocolate of his own so that Gwynne could have a whole bar to himself. When Moira finds out that Gwynne is eating before food, the chocolate goes out the window and that's only the start of the evening's mishaps.

After a strike of lightning the tv loses signal and Gwynne is sent to hold the aerial! When the tv goes off completely the family fall apart under the pressure of not having a tv to watch and the thought of having to have a conversation together seems absolutely ridiculous.

Idris comes up with the idea of nativity finger puppets, however, it all ends in disaster as Idris loses his cool with Moira and Gwynne stamps on Jesus' donkey in a rage which sparks further arguments. Gwynne digs up the past again and blames Idris for his mothers death, but ends up apologising to his father. Moira burns the food and Gwynne describes it as something that even an "hyena would turn his nose up at". On hearing his snide remarks Moira threatens to leave as she throws the meal on the floor. Idris feels guilty about killing Angharad and Randy is feeling insecure about Mandy possibly running off with another man in Porthcawl. Gwynne can't cope anymore and axes the tv in a fit of rage.

Everything is falling apart...until the tele comes back on!

Idris: Aww come on Randy go up the garage and buy us a lottery ticket mun.
Randy: Well I don't actually agree with the Lottery Idris.
Idris: Don't agree with it? But it don't say nothing mun.

Original Air Date: Friday 9th October 1998 (22:24pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 44"
Recorded On: Wednesday 7th October 1998

The village and the Price's excluding a skeptical Gwynne has gone to see Madame Zara, a fortune teller. They come back and are all very optimistic about their future's. Gwynne laughs and jokes about it all but when the fortune teller sees him at the Cosmo she she starts talking about a grim and dark future ahead. Unaffected by the news, Gwynne goes on to have another pint!

Back at the house they start seeing signs that the future that Madame Zara told them about, is coming to pass. Moira finds a scarf and Idris gets the worms he was promised would come his way. Even Dai gets famous as his "old boy" is pictured in a famous magazine.

By this time Gwynne starts to feel uneasy about the news he was given by Madame Zara and he and Moira start fearing the worst. Moira even mentions that she will have to have a widows pension, but however dire the situation Randy's conscious takes over and he refuses to work his magic to save Gwynne from his tragic end. So Moira and Donna take matters into their own hands and plan a ritual with Randy's book.

In the countdown to his death, Gwynne shares a pint at the Cosmo in a somewhat solemn atmosphere. Everyone says their goodbye's and pays their last respects. Madame Zara even comes in to witness Gwynne's death, however, it seems she's confused things a little!

"So long son, and if you see your mother, don't tell her where I am"
- Idris last words to his dying son

Original Air Date: Friday 16th October 1998 (22:20pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 02"
Recorded On: Thursday 24th September 1998

Idris is bored and goes to his bench in the park to find that it's already being occupied. He gets talking to a fellow ferret owner, Jimmy Jenkins "Who died falling off scaffolding"'s daughter Ellen. Turns out Idris lands himself a date.

Gwynne can't help but wonder why a 48 year old rational female would want to date his father and his suspicion leads him to worry that she will take his mothers place and the only reason for her interest is a gold digging ulterior motive.

Idris invites Ellen over for tea, Moira and Gwynne fear that he's rushing into things as he tells them he's going to ask her a question. Worried that they'll lose their home to Ellen, they go to see her at her house and they find out Ellen has got a secret!

At the dinner table Gwynne and Moira do everything in their power to stop Idris from asking "the question" so that he doesn't get heartbroken when he finds out Ellen's true identity. Randy who has not got all the facts stands in their way and he and Mandy accuse the Price's of "trying to thwart the path of true love".

Turns out they got the wrong end of the stick...again, and spend the rest of the night trying to make it up with Idris!

[Dai's interpretation of love]
Dai: You've left them alone so they can do it.
Gwynne: Do what Dai?.
Dai: You know, the old "'ows your father", the old "raising the dead".
Moira: You remember love, it's what we used to do before we had the tele.

Original Air Date: Friday 23rd October 1998 (22:25pm) ˇ Duration: 28' 01"
Recorded On: Thursday 15th October 1998

Randy and Mandy are going camping, however before they go Randy gives his regular lectures. This morning he's noticed just how many different kinds of tablets both Gwynne and Idris are taking on a daily basis to treat illness' and hernia's etc. Moira has worked so hard she needs to go back to bed! So Randy takes it upon himself to inform them that they are all way too unfit!

Idris goes to the Cosmo to get fit and hopes to strengthen his "peeing muscles", with the help of Donna. Moira also makes a vow to get fit by going to the gym every morning.

Donna and Dai wind Gwynne up saying that Moira is only going to the gym for the men, informing him that there are many foreigners including "super fit" Italians too. Gwynne already thinks it's all a farce as it is but this pushes his patience further still.

He goes home to attempt to once again woo Moira into his arms in order to take her mind off the fit blokes at the gym. So he uses a cheap line that he thinks is bound to get him some action "the little soldier is standing to attention!" However, much to Gwynne's surprise and disappointment, Moira replies with some Italian and the name Luigi. The next day he ends up going to the gym to investigate and hopefully catch her in the act. After a run in with some rather heavy built men he finds out he's got the wrong idea again and finds out Luigi is just an old man in a cafe that taught Moira a few Italian words that she ended up repeating in her sleep!

Moira comes clean and tells Gwynne she's been visiting the Italian's cafe instead of going to the Gym and has been sneaking a few luxuries along the way. Although she's been deceiving him all along Gwynne takes it on the chin and together they find romance now their "mutual negativity has been confirmed", as they both admit they'd rather live the way they were before even if they aren't entirely happy.

Randy returns worse for wear after spending the weekend with a demanding Mandy, and he's looking a lot worse than the one's he ridiculed at the start!

"If God meant us to run, we'd have been born in tracksuits wouldn't we dad" - Gwynne

Original Air Date: Friday 30th October 1998 (22:22pm) ˇ Duration: 29' 03"
Recorded On: Tuesday 22nd September 1998

"But Randy we'll fall apart without you love, you are the glue that holds the tattered fragments of our hellish lives together...the voice of reason" - Moira

One of Randy 's employers, Tom, one of the Burma Vets has died. The crew are at the Cosmo paying their respects, and Randy finds out Tom left his house at 13 Terminal Street, situated on "The Estate". The estate is a "dark and evil place" and that's just the nice bits! Anyhow Randy and Mandy are ecstatic about the news and want to live together in Toms old house.

The Price's are devastated by the news and try to talk Randy out of it by giving him incentives to stay. Meanwhile, Dai and Donna are conjuring up ideas of their own to stop the couple moving. Donna tells Dai to think "laterally", which leads to some strange behavior from Dai involving Tom's dead corpse, which by now has been put in the freezer, assuming it will get later use.

Gwynne and Moira decide to try and talk Mandy and Randy out of it, which inevitably fails due to their unfailing love for each other. So the next logical "Price" step is to tie him up! Failing that, the next idea is to move in with them instead. Much to Randy and Mandy's annoyance, they find the Price's at a surprise welcoming at their new home. It all ends in tears as the Price's are kindly given their marching orders.

However all is not lost, Dai thinks "laterally" and let's just say the couple don't particularly want to stay in Tom's old house anymore. But will the Price's have Randy back?

[Gwynne on the Estate]
Randy: In a few days time, after we've moved in, we'll have a house warming.
Gwynne: You'll be having one every bloody night if you don't seal up your letterbox butt.

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Original Air Date: Wednesday 3rd March 1999 (20:05pm) ˇ Duration: 59' 17"
Recorded On: Tuesday 19th January 1999

Gwynne and Idris are left downstairs frustrated and uptight as Randy has to cook for them in place of a depressed Moira who is at a low-ebb upstairs. Gwynne thinks it's just another "you're taking me for granted" routine and attempts to lure her out of her slum of depression by taking her breakfast in bed. His plan is quickly thwarted as Moira, still depressed, tells him to go away. Adamant he'll get to the bottom of the problem, Gwynne pushes Moira to talk to him about it, he's soon sorry he asked as she tells him the scary truth...she wants a baby!

Gwynne is upset by this as he always thought that this whole subject was dealt with years ago when they decided it was their "duty to end the Price lineage" once and for all. Idris winds his son up by saying that rumor has it that Gwynne has a low sperm count, a furious Gwynne goes to the shop.

Whilst he's out shopping Moira admits to Randy that she hates babies and doesn't even want one but her recent behavior (recording the teletubbies and actually acquiring a sexual desire for her husband!) has prompted her to reassess her views on the idea. In her seemingly irrational state she fears that Gwynne's lack of company to the supermarket may lead to his arrest for shoplifting, and it would all be her fault. Surely not...not Gwynne?

She was right! Idris gives Gwynne a hard time because he fails to get food as he gets thrown out for suspected shoplifting. After the outburst, Moira comes to seduce Gwynne, using her edible "baked bean and sausage" flavored underwear, which seems appealing to Idris but gives Gwynne cold feet and causes him to rush off to the Cosmo leaving Moira in an embarrassing predicament in front of Randy and Idris.

Back at the Cosmo Dai is even feeling broody and tries to convince Gwynne he and Donna have a future together, he has even planned a baby to carry on the 'Wall' ascendancy! However, Gwynne soon bursts his bubble in true "Gwynne 'blunt' Price" fashion by saying "no woman would want you". Enraged by Gwynne's comment, Dai too winds Gwynne up about his lack of sperm.

Gwynne is convinced everyone is out for him and believes he is sure he is inadequate to satisfy Moira's needs and desires. Randy comes to the rescue with an old Hopi remedy that will boost Gwynne's sperm count. It seems to temporarily boost Gwynne's sex drive too, until he fancies watching the T.V. instead! Randy and Idris persuade him to go for it. By this time Moira has changed her mind, then she un changes it, then...

To the soundtrack of the beloved Gareth Edwards scoring a try, Gwynne and Moira have a match of their own...and they score! Moira and Gwynne go and tell everyone that they are expecting a baby, and the whole crew start the celebrations of the new Price baby to come...Zin-Zan/Keanu Price!

The celebrations are short-lived. Moira returns from the doctors with some bad news. She tells Gwynne and then goes to the Cosmo alone to tell the rest of them. In possibly the saddest and most touching moment in the whole series, Moira thanks Randy for being a good friend and thanks Idris for being so kind. She then drops the bombshell that she cannot have children and she's not pregnant.

Gwynne leaves a suicide note for Moira back at the house. Immediately her, Randy and Idris rush to Southerndown to find him before it's too late. They find his clothes and a starker's Gwynne!

The end of a great era for Welsh television.

"It's horrifying, horrifying, my own bloody body, betraying me like some biological Judas"
- Moira

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