- The Radio Shows

L-R: Randy (Michael Neill), Mandy (Catherine Tregenna), Idris (Islwyn Morris), Moira (Ri Richards) and Gwynne (Boyd Clack). The SC Radio Show Cast.

How It All Started...

Satellite City was originally written as a play about the 1st Gulf War and had nothing to with what we now know as Satellite City. The basis of the story, revolving around an American coming to stay with a valleys family. Ed Thomas (the director of the 1st TV Series and Executive Producer) suggested to Boyd that it would be a good idea for a sitcom.

However, before the T.V. show arrived on our screens in October 1996 the play was performed before a live audience at the Chapter Arts Centre, Cardiff in 1991, directed by Jack James, it then went on to be recorded for BBC Radio. In an interview Boyd reminisces about how it had a "theatrical quality", although they were just standing there with props, the audience loved it and it gained a sort of 'cult following'.

A friend of his told him once that he was in a butchers shop in the valleys once on a Saturday, with around half a dozen people waiting. The butcher said "hang on a minute" and he put the radio on and found the Satellite City radio show. Everyone in the shop stayed for the half hour and listened to it!

The reasoning for it's phenomenal success in both the radio and television mediums no-one quite knows but Boyd puts it down to the fact that it was the sound of our own voice that drew people to it.

Here is the account of the entire two radio series and the Christmas Special. Fans of the television show will notice distinct similarities as the stories were used in some of both. Although there are some distinctive differences too!

Satellite City was recorded before a live studio audience at the Chapter Arts Centre, Cardiff
Written By:	- Boyd & Jane Clack
Directed By:	- Edward Thomas
Produced By:	- Y Cwmni & Lluniau Lliw

Original Air Date: Unknown

English Stan has died, he was a depressed lodger of the Price's, Gwynne, Moira and Idris. He hung himself recently and they have all just come back from his funeral.

Idris is an elderly gentleman and he is struggling to find company in his old age. He suggests to his son and daughter in-law that they should try and get another lodger to take Stan's place. Gwynne and Moira are not so eager to get another person in the house as they are looking for a quieter life.

A knock on the door brings Randy, an American, who is running from "the undertaker"; a seemingly perverted character who wants Randy to dig the wax from his ears! Moira lets the distressed American in, much to Gwynne's aggravation, he's not convinced that Randy is legitimate until he sees the top hat wearing, mad undertaker outside wrestling Mrs. Jones' pet doberman Sylvester!

Randy is in Wales because his great grandparents were Welsh and they came from the Rhondda valley; where Satellite City is situated. He's simply exploring his roots.

In waiting for the psycho to go away, randy ends up helping Gwynne out of a rather nasty situation involving a cracked toilet seat and his buttocks! In doing so, he ends up getting his own fingers caught and he misses the last bus. Idris suggests that he stays the night with them. Convinced Randy could be a serial killer himself, Gwynne is reassured that Randy won't be tempted to kill them in their sleep!

Idris shows Randy the room and tries to inform him of typical valley life. It's the start of a new friendship as Randy ends up explaining the ways of his American life to Idris as well. The basis of the story starts here, with Randy's exploration of valley traditions and the Price's efforts to inform him. Randy finally discovers that he'll be sharing not only the bedroom with Idris but the bed too! And of course part of the valley life means Randy has to discover the Cosmo, and the traditional intake of a valley pint and a good night out.

In an exchange of compliments and general happiness, Idris nags Gwynne and Moira to allow Randy to stay and become their new lodger. He's convinced that it's fate thats brought Randy to the Price's doorstep. Gwynne's not all that crazy on the idea and believes Randy would be nuts to want to stay with them anyway!

After their pint and social gathering, Idris takes Randy for a typical Welsh Indian meal! He badgers Randy to stay with them. Then in one of life's delightful moments, a beautiful embodiment of valley life walks into the room. A young girl named Mandy, she and Randy are both struck immediately with cupid's arrow and it's the signs of love at first sight. A little later, Randy has a run in with a thug and comes out the worst end of it, he wakes up in the bed next to Idris, although now he's not so reluctant to stay, much to Idris' exuberance...surely it must be fate!

Welcome to Satellite City!

"Look Randy, it's different over here - we don't go to art galleries and things mun. We get drunk and laugh and fight!" - Idris

Original Air Date: Unknown

Randy has an unsuccessful meeting with the tax man, he finds out he needs to get a job so Moira gets to work and she asks Gwynne to work his magic at the factory he works.

Randy goes to the park and comes across two drug taking thugs that go by the names Wumpo and Skud. Wumpo, real name Clive, is Mandy's brother and Skud is his strange friend. After trying to convince them that there's more to life than drugs, Mandy and Bridget turn up to introduce themselves. Randy and Mandy have previously shared a moment of intimacy however, Randy now gets to see her for who she really is, an assertive and extremely forward 16 year old who quizzes Randy on his love life and sexuality. After just a single question she asks if he'd like to go out with her!

Gwynne manages to get Randy a job at his work, unfortunately much as it's grates with Randy's conscious, he has to lie and say he can drive a forklift truck. Gwynne encourages him to go for it regardless, convincing him in true valleys fashion that they haven't got a forklift truck that works anyway.

In an interview Randy gets flirty with a member of personnel and he manages to get the job after divulging a successful employment history as a condom tester! Back at the Cosmo, Gwynne and Idris wind Randy up about the inevitable and somewhat infantile induction ceremony that each 'new boy' gets to have. Idris describes it nicely by saying "they smear your waterworks with paint".

On his first day at the new job Randy realises what a breeze life is working in a factory in Wales. His new colleagues strive to do as little work and continue unnoticed as possible. However, Randy is stil a little nervous about the "ceremony". Gwynne assures him he's got nothing to worry about.

In an encounter in the mens room, Randy tells Phill, a colleague, that he's ready for his 'official' induction. But in true Satellite City style, it all goes terribly wrong and it turns into a mistaken mess as Phill gets the wrong end of the stick. In the end Gwynne and Billy give Randy the unexpected surprise of painting his genitals. Randy is now one of the boys!

"Abishua begat Bukki, Bukki begat Uzzi, Uzzi begat Zerahiah, Zerahiah begat Meraioth, Meraioth begat Amariah, Amariah begat Ahitub, Ahitub begat Zadok, and Zadok begat Ahimaaz. Ah they don't write 'em like that anyore mun."
- Idris reading 1 Chronicles 6:5-8 from the Bible

Original Air Date: Unknown

Moira is tending to an ill father in-law, Idris is feeling poorly and has come out in boils. With Randy asleep in the bed next to him, the doctor is called into examine what's wrong. The doctor demands the curtains to be opened and Randy is rudely awakened.

The doctor is convinced there's nothing wrong with Idris and puts it simply down to old age. He prescribes him some aspirin and harshly tells him not to bother him again, he won't come! Randy, clearly distressed at seeing his friend in a bad state gets on the job of finding an alternative, more natural cure. Gwynne's, not-surprisingly, unconvinced!

Meanwhile (this scene is not in the television series counterpart - Episode 4), Bridget is tending to her nephew Dwayne, a somewhat ugly looking baby, joined by Wumpo, Skud and Mandy. Skud steals Dwayne's toy bus and really shows how immature he is.

Back at the Price's house, Randy convinces Idris that he should try his herbal bath with natural remedies for his illness. Reluctantly Idris jumps in but to no avail it seems. After the unsuccessful bathroom affair Randy suggests a séance to cure Idris of his guilt driven illness. He is guided to this conclusion after hearing that Idris killed his own wife Angharad accidentally when he was out driving a works bus.

Bridget and Mandy are invited around for a rendezvous with the so-called spirits beyond. They get interrupted, much to Randy's frustration by Wumpo and Skud who end up taking a front row seat for the "exorcism"!

Skud ends up hitting Idris on the head with the toy bus mid-séance and they all wake up to find an ecstatic Idris who believes it's a sign from Angharad and that the bus has come out of his head! It must be her forgiving him for his crime. Bridget's not so sure mind as the bus seems awfully familiar.

"I knew it couldn't work see, only things that hurt make you better mun every bugger knows that" - Idris

Original Air Date: Unknown

The Price's are at the Cosmo and they find out Dai is putting on a talent contest, an annual favourite down at the club. Idris will be putting on his "abracadabra" magic show and Dai suggests that the Price's lodger does a little party piece of his own.

Randy decides that he wants to put on an exhibition of hypnosis. Idris, feeling slightly uneasy about his competition, sneers at the idea and suggests Randy won't be able to pull it off. Back at the house Randy starts practising his act, and after Idris sees him he gets down to a little practice himself.

In a moment of old age, Idris is convinced he still feels young at heart and still has life to live. Gwynne and Moira try to tell him that this could be his moment to shine, his defining moment of glory that will enable him to get up there and dine with the stars.

In the park Randy is doing his Tai Chi while Bridget and Mandy share a bit of friendly banter. After which, Idris approaches Mandy from within the bushes and asks her to be his sexy on-stage assistant.

Back at the Cosmo, Gwynne, Moira and Dai discuss Mr. Rees, an old regular punter who seems to be looking rather cocky, almost as if he's got something up his sleeve for the contest. Gwynne reassures them though, that he's simply not human, and that "he wasn't born like the rest of us, he burst out of John Hurt's stomach", he's like an alien and from a planet of his own.

Dai opens the evening with a bang as Margaret Jasper does her farmyard impressions. Meanwhile Idris and Randy are backstage talking about Elton, the one-glass-eyed rabbit that Idris plans to use in his show. The Vicar who let him borrow it said it's sometimes unreasonably vicious. There's a pigeon called Onan too. Randy sees the ravishing Mandy in a different, more passionate light when he realises she's wearing a sparkly swimming costume for their act.

Randy's next after the contortionist act discovers she may be a little too old for all this exercise anymore as she gets horribly tangled up. Randy asks for two volunteers, Gwynne and Moira put themselves forward. When he puts them under hypnosis, to prove it worked the audience ask him to make them hop and cluck like chickens. Reluctantly, he does so. Feeling bad about putting them through it, he approaches them to make amends and apologise. Thankfully they have no recollection of any of it!

Idris is next with his assistant Mandy in their magic show. Their act goes well until he attempts to do the death defying act of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, not only that but a pigeon too, out of the same hat. Unfortunately the whole room erupts with terror as they see that the violent and vicious rabbit has bitten the pigeon's head off and it's covered in blood.

The final act of the night wins it. It seems Mr. Rees' plan was hatched as he played the spoons in the nude much to everyone's surprise! What a traditional ending to a great evening!

Idris: Hypnosis be buggered, I don't believe in that.
Gwynne: There speaks the voice of enlightenment.
Randy: Well it's an accepted science in the states.
Idris: Ai and so is freezing people's heads innit, in a fridge. Daft buggers, I wouldn't let 'em freeze my head.
Gwynne: They only freeze things of value dad.

Original Air Date: Unknown

Randy is standing on his head participating in a little Tai Chi. It seems Idris is singing and moaning in his sleep, Randy is missing out on his vital ZZZs!

It seems Idris is losing his mind as he goes nearly three months without an injection for his nerves. Randy puts the pieces together and is convinced the reason for the chanting in the night, while Gwynne thinks he's just plain crazy!

Randy doesn't like the fact that everyone just deems Idris crazy, although Idris' behaviour is clearly that of a mentally unbalanced man!

Idris goes to bed in a rage, convinced he's Joan of Arc! This is all a result of Randy trying to tell him that he's not crazy but he may just be a 'receiver' of some sort and he isn't convinced Idris should go ahead with the next injection either! Gwynne strongly disagrees and puts forward a beautifully crafted speech about how his father is nuts, not an hypothesis but fact!

Upstairs, Idris is showing signs of his craziness when he starts having a violent conversation with a pesky Rat! Troubled by the irritating rodent, he goes to the Cosmo to think about things. He asks Dai how he should deal with the pest.

Randy and Mandy get talking in the park about the way people in Wales are too flippant and quick to label people and make harsh judgements that they can't back up.

After an incident with Gwynne's air rifle, laughing pegs and pesky vermin, Randy finally realises the full extent of Idris' illness and admits defeat, that he was wrong. Meanwhile Idris is upstairs trying to burn the rat out! After a potentially deadly curtain inferno, Randy pleads with Idris to go have his injection!

The family gather around to mollycoddle Idris in his time of need. Randy however, feels bad about raising the old mans hopes. All is well that ends well however, as Randy is sent to the window to see if they are still alive and the rest of the world exists around them, this of course calms Idris and puts his wondering mind to rest!

"My mam would turn in her grave if she knew I was sharing a bed with a non-believer, she'd rotate mun!" - Idris

Original Air Date: Unknown

Idris and Gwynne plan an afternoon in to watch the match, inviting Randy and Dai to come join them. Randy and Mandy however are planning to spend some time together. Mandy seeks Moira's advice on Love and men, Gwynne is there for Randy to offer some priceless advice, both are equally as shocked at the news that the new couple haven't yet got intimate!

Whilst the boys sit down to watch the Wales Vs. England 5 nations match (now the 6 nations), Mandy is getting frustrated at Randy's lack of urge to get close to her, with all the hinting and whinging Mandy stands up and commands Randy to go the bedroom to "talk". The couple find out this is their first time!

As the match comes to a nail biting crescendo the boys rush upstairs to listen to the commentary on the radio as the TV transmission brokedown. Thing is Randy and Mandy are coming to a crescendo of their own!

[the boys are watching Wales losing at Rugby]
Gwynne: We was better when we all had initials... JJ, JPR...
Dai the barman: MD.
Gwynne: MD? Who's MD?
Dai the barman: Mervyn Davies.
Gwynne: Mervyn Davies wasn't known as MD.
Dai the barman: No but they's his initials though.
Gwynne: Yes Dai, but he was known as 'Merv the Swerve'
Idris: In that case he should be called M the S. M for Merv, S for Swerve and 'The' for 'The'.

^ Go Back To The Top

Original Air Date: Saturday 18th February 1995 (13:10 - 13:40) ˇ Radio Wales
Recorded On: Thursday 9th February 1995

Gwynne decides to "borrow" an "executive toy" (a talking Pocket Calculator) from his boss Wilf Morris without asking.

Spike Malarky, a renowned criminal in and out of prison and has a dodgy reputation, returns to the village and causes a ruckus in the Cosmo, sparks fly when he and Randy first meet!

Meanwhile Idris is eating a jar of pickled eggs and falls into a dream world whilst at the club. Back home he hears a noise which disturbs his sleep and he goes downstairs to investigate. Spike is inside the house sneaking around the Price's private property. He convinces Idris that its ok its just a dream and he's imagining it all, whilst also convincing him to put the kettle on!

Next morning Moira discovers the "talking machine" (the Calculator) has gone missing and immediately suspects Spike as Idris tells the story of his dream. Gwynne starts to feel a little shaky and is worried about how he's going to tell his boss and how he's going to face a life of prison.

The family return to the Cosmo to confront Spike who inevitably denies taking the machine. Randy suggests holding a trial and having Spike's peers as his jury. Idris, the judge and a witness in the trial, is convinced it was still a dream, however Spike cannot deny that he's a liar and a criminal. The jury finds Spike not guilty but insane. Gwynne immediately fears his future is in pieces and thinks spike is taking it all as a joke.

After Gwynne leaves, the friends are left distraught that they have never seen Gwynne in such a depressed state. Spike goes home to look at the calculator, only tofind that it's telling him that Gwynne is back at his home ready to commit suicide with a large knife with a serrated edge in one hand and a book of depressing poetry in the other. Spike immediately goes to reconcile with Gwynne and to attempt to save him from endless doom. Gwynne, amazed that the calculator has returned, is so happy that he forgives Spike and saves Spike's little drop of dignity by using a cover story to disguise the truth.

"You're a ronowned thief, a degenerate, a recidivist and a moral turd Spike, and everyone knows it"
- Gwynne.

Original Air Date: Saturday 25th February 1995 (13:10 - 13:40) ˇ Radio Wales
Recorded On: Friday 10th February 1995

Original Air Date: Saturday 4th March 1995 (13:10 - 13:40) ˇ Radio Wales
Recorded On: Friday 10th February 1995

Original Air Date: Saturday 11th March 1995 (13:10 - 13:40) ˇ Radio Wales
Recorded On: Friday 10th February 1995

Original Air Date: Saturday 18th March 1995 (13:10 - 13:40) ˇ Radio Wales
Recorded On: Friday 10th February 1995

Original Air Date: Saturday 25th March 1995 (13:10 - 13:40) ˇ Radio Wales
Recorded On: Thursday 23rd March1995

^ Go Back To The Top

Original Air Date: Unknown

^ Go Back To The Top

<< Return To Satellite City Homepage

Almost all names, pictures and media are used for educational purposes only, and are copyright to BBC, Boyd Clack, the actors, actresses and individuals mentioned herein.